Getting Angry Doesn't Solve Anything.

[geoff bearing]

i can be
BROWN
i can be
BLUE
i can be
VIOLET SKY
i can be
HURTFUL
i can be
PURPLE
i can be
ANYTHING YOU LIKE
gotta be
GREEN
gotta be
MEAN
gotta be
EVERYTHING MORE


Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me?
Walk out the door.


this is my
B L O G
KINDERGARTEN

[geoff bearing]

It’s over.
It really is. All of it, and I hate it. I’ve never really been this lonely before, but I guess it can be a good thing. After all, we’re only ourselves when there’s no one around to judge us (even if they are people we think really love us for who we are.) I have Olive though, which I suppose I’m fine with. Every now and then I wonder what I could be doing right this moment if there wasn’t a little 8 month poop maker lying on my bed surrounded by pillows at this moment. Yes, I just called her a poop maker. Want to argue? Come over and watch her for a few hours. That’s all she does.

Regardless, I do love Olive. I can’t imagine my life without her, but when I think of it that way, it makes me think of other people I could have never dreamed of losing. Long ago memories and more recent ones. College makes you think. It’s a pain like that, and I really doubt any of this makes sense. If it does to you, then congrats. Otherwise, I’ll move on to address a different topic:

“blahblahblahSTEELEANDGEOFFblahblahblah”
No matter what “Gossip Girl” says, I.e. her interpretations of a certain someone’s blog, doesn’t mean it’s true. There are a million guys Steele could be talking about. Okay, maybe not a million. I like exaggerations, but I know I’m not the only possible guy. I don’t really like people assuming things. Another topic, me and Jerome are friends. Tis all. Nothing more, and I’m pretty sure he’s got someone on his mind who isn’t even close to being me [like a girl ], so yeah. That’s out of the water. Sorry to blow up the peanut gallery.

The truth? I miss Steele, but it’s pretty obvious we’re not going to work out together at all. He’s moved on to Julia, and I’ve been left behind. I’m sure I’ll find someone though. I’m not THAT big of a loser, am I? But I do wish I could still talk to Steele, or think about talking to him for that matter, without feeling sick. I’d love to stay friends, yet it’s somehow more complicated than I think it should be. I’m sure we could talk and be normal humans. Normal humans do things though, things I don’t think me and Steele could deal with at the time being. And it’s really not worth risking.

Why can’t we go back to being 5 years old again? Life was so easy then. “I hate you!” “I hate you too!” “Will you be my best friend now?” “yeah.”
That’d be nice.

Love,
Geoffy Bear

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